2-4-08: Super Monday?

Rough weekend for my sports teams (even the Bruins lost!). Both my teams lost their big games, though both lost in the same fashion: beaten by a better prepared team. Good win by the Giants. I don’t think they’re the better team overall, but they played a better game. One could say “Well, the Patriots went full throttle to go undefeated,” but then again, the Giants didn’t exactly have an easy season. Tough loss, but I’ll be happier once those asses on the ’72 Dolphins finally disappear. I’m not saying they’re evil or anything, but they’re acting almost as bad as the ’85 Bears. They had an easier (though not easy by any means) season in ‘72 (in the pre-Free Agent era), and played two fewer games. But then again, that’s probably just me being a bit of a sore loser. I guess being a sore winner is acceptable. The Red Sox are still champions, which helps. New York fans had a rough fall, so all the luck to them. In case you were wondering, the other team I’m referring to is the team I coach, who lost a tough game on Saturday night to a rival. I’m not in the best of moods today. I’m just glad I’m a bigger baseball fan than football. Maybe my fellow New Englanders will come back to Earth now. Let’s go Bruins!

And what is today, anyway? Well, I guess it’s just the day in between Super Sunday and Super Tuesday. But… wouldn’t it be appropriate to call it Super Monday? I guess you could, since there isn’t a real good time of the year for a Super Monday. Why not today? If it only comes around every once in a while (roughly every four years unless they ever change the date of the Super Bowl), why not have it? It’s like Sadie Hawkins Day. But then again… it’s in the same month… Maybe two obscure, relatively meaningless holidays in the same month would be pushing it. And, on top of that, how would one celebrate Super Monday? I’d imagine it would involve a lot of Advil, since many are hung over from the Super Bowl. I’d also think a bit of research into political candidates would need to be done, since the day after is the big primary day.

Here’s my proposal for a Super Monday celebration. Trust me on this. I celebrate Riot Day (April 29^th) every year in a very obscure and easy fashion.

1. Buy a big bottle of Advil. Take it to work and get rid of the hangover. Remember to hydrate.

2. Print out as much literature on your top candidates.

3. Invite over a few buddies who both like football AND plan on voting. Have them bring some caffeinated drinks and their own literature on their candidates.

4. Over wings and pizza, discuss the remaining candidates in both races in the context of football. You can, say, pick a player of the past or present in the NFL that the candidate most resembles. Or, you could pick what position, besides Quarterback since that’s easy, that each candidate would be. Use your literature as a reference.

5. Put together a fantasy game for the two “leagues.” Since the number of candidates is limited this year, especially in the Democratic race, make it an open pick among all candidates. Then again, you could make it interesting and try to come up with some bonus points for the guy who finishes last in voting. Come up with your own rules. Some ideas might include picking the percentage of votes among three random states voting. You could also guess how many states your candidate will win. It shouldn’t be a traditional “fantasy” scoring system, since there are obvious favorites. Make it interesting. I got this idea from all the dumb drinking games I played in college. My Fraternity had a real fun one with a dry-walling video. It’s awesome. Yes, it’s a video on how to drywall.

6. Watch the news coverage of the primaries. Include some rules in your fantasy game that involve things the anchors and/or reporters say. Like, bonus points for any clichés used like “Fringe candidate” or anything like that. I can’t think of any good ones right now. Put your heads together. Also, try to figure out which station will declare a winner for either party for any three states. Pick three states, then pick which major news station will call the correct winner first for either party. You can pick two different stations for either candidate, and you’ll need to decide which stations can be picked, like Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, or CBS.

7. No alcohol should be involved, though. Take it easy. You need to vote the next day.

Happy Super Monday!